Grief is the price we pay for love..

On 12.20.12, I lost my 9 week pregnancy. I affectionately call him/her Avery Haven.

On 12.19.12, I went to Planned Parenthood to receive a medical miscarriage; wait, don’t judge me yet. I was extremely sick with high blood pressure. My doctor in the emergency room thought for sure I would have a stroke. In fact, they monitored my body & took several CT scans. He said it without really saying it; I could die if I held onto my baby. Having two kids already, who need their mommy, I agreed I could not fight this battle & made the appointment the next day. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss my baby. I mourn daily, & wish I could have done things differently. S/he would be 3 months old this month. I wanted to share a poem I wrote in my baby’s honor.

I held your hand,
I touched your feet.
You were so beautiful-
It was too early for us to meet.
I stroked your face,
Looked into your tiny eyes.
You were my baby,
My child. You were mine.
I think of you every day.
I pray for you, I talk to you.
I ask, “why does it have to be this way?”
I visit your grave,
I say your name.
I shed a tear & I realize-
My life will never be the same.
My heart is full of sadness-
But I feel you here to comfort me.
Mommy loves you, baby,
& I miss & love you dearly.

Do reptiles feel love?

I am a proud parent, of two humans; ages 3 & 5, & of approx. 25 animals. Just to get it out of the way, I will list them below.

Suge & Rally; my 8 yr old German Shepherd cross & 1 yr old Rat Terrorist.
Macy & Sera; my 17 yr old & 5 yr old cats.
The Drizzle & Nova; 3 yr old brother & sister Bearded Dragons.
Orbit & Master Splinter; 9 mos & 7 mos old dumbo rats.
Link; approx. 3 month old Crested Gecko & newest member to the clan.
Sunset, Sunshine, Blacktail & Moon; my female leopard geckos.
Screech, Bumblebee & Hurricane; my male leopard geckos.
Last but not least, like 15 Bufo/Cane toad tadpoles.

Shit… I forgot the betta fish. Two males, Astro & Jackson.

Ok, now I’m done. On to my topic; do reptiles feel love? I think every crazy reptile parent is going to say YES! & I’m on board. Whether its love or just a preference, or attraction to food- they look to us as their keepers.

My bearded dragons- HUGE fans of face rubs. They will sit for hours & let me stroke them, without even moving. They will also eat from my hand. They trust me. I’m their mama! My leopard geckos tolerate me. I def would say they don’t love me, but they know I bring food & they will put up with me. Here comes my real reason for why I think reptiles can feel love- LINK. My boyfriend bought this little gem for me at Repticon WPB on 9/08/13. He’s brand new to my collection & my very first crested. From day one, he’s seemed attached to me. The first time I held him, he refused to go back in his enclosure. I stroked his head & face for a long time until I literally pried him off of me. A few nights later, I let my bf hold him. He liked him but the second I held my hand up, he crawled to me. The next night, I introduced him to my sons. My 3 year old (Jace) was first. Link ran up Jace’s arm & up to his head. I was taking photos & Link jumped directly onto my phone, & stared at me. “What’s up, mama?!” Next was my 5 year olds turn… He sat patiently on Aiden, but the second I got close enough, he wiggled his little but & jumped right onto my chest. I like to think this is love; just how my dogs, cats & rats (yes, rats love too!!!) show it. What are your thoughts?

Jess :)